If it’s one (of the) thing(s) that bother/s me, it’s brushing my teeth with food still in my mouth. I’m not saying like mouth full of turkey and stuffing, because that makes no sense and you’d look like a ninny brushing your teeth with a mouth full of food, but just a little bit—like you’ve just washed the last morsels of turkey down with a glass of ginger ale, and have little bits of stuffing and cranberry sauce stuck in your molars, and unsightly bits of Thanksgiving salad stuck between your front teeth.
That…That just feels gross. Imagine after a good long brush, pulling your toothbrush out, to stare at a potpourri of bristle and gristle, a forest of nylon and potatoes and yams soaked in cranberry sauce. It’s enough to make me (ever-so ironically) vomit.
Instead, I prefer to brush when most of my food has been washed clean. While I would prefer to brush my teeth with mostly clean teeth, I accept the fact that food always rests in places I can’t help, such as the far reaches that are my back molars. Such places are a hassle to reach with tongue and finger, and if attempted to clean, you would look like you’re either suffering a facial seizure, or trying to massage your lymph nodes.
I’ve almost never brushed my teeth with a food-y mouth, and the times I have, I immediately blasted my toothbrush with a fine mix of antiseptic and isopropyl alcohol.
You know.
The little things.
That…That just feels gross. Imagine after a good long brush, pulling your toothbrush out, to stare at a potpourri of bristle and gristle, a forest of nylon and potatoes and yams soaked in cranberry sauce. It’s enough to make me (ever-so ironically) vomit.
Instead, I prefer to brush when most of my food has been washed clean. While I would prefer to brush my teeth with mostly clean teeth, I accept the fact that food always rests in places I can’t help, such as the far reaches that are my back molars. Such places are a hassle to reach with tongue and finger, and if attempted to clean, you would look like you’re either suffering a facial seizure, or trying to massage your lymph nodes.
I’ve almost never brushed my teeth with a food-y mouth, and the times I have, I immediately blasted my toothbrush with a fine mix of antiseptic and isopropyl alcohol.
You know.
The little things.
No comments:
Post a Comment