Influence (and sh*t about which you probably don't care)

Drugs and music are related, huh?

George Harrison of The Beatles wrote the sitar-laden song Within You Without You while high. It's one of my favorite Beatles songs.

John Butler smokes pot (frequency unconfirmed on my side), but he's one of the best guitarists I've ever heard.

But they won't influence me in that way one bit. I'm clean, and I prefer it that way. Just because I listen to hippie music does not necessarily mean I will do drugs. Music influences me, but in a spiritual or emotional way more than a physical way.

Speaking loosely of influence, one of the things that greatly bothers me is the way that pop music samples or copies music. I've been a fan of Modest Mouse for around seven years now, and hearing Lupe Fiasco copy "Float On" greatly disturbed me and prompted me to punch a large birch tree down. Even more aggravating was an artist directly sampling Eurythmics' Sweet Dreams are Made of This. I heard the unforgettable synth intro and got excited for a heavy dose of Annie Lennox, then  SUDDENLY, RAP. I was disgusted and shocked into submission and spent the next two days unconscious. The doctors told me I was muttering the letter Y before I awakened. I declined psychological evaluation.

This makes me assume that the artists who directly sample other artists lack the talent to write their own music. Given, we're running out of original music that sounds good, but if Handel can write hundreds of original songs in the baroque period (roughly 17th-19th century), Aaron Copland can write original songs in the 20th century, and hundreds upon hundreds of composers between the baroque-20th century period can also be original, the 21st century is becoming trite.

[fair warning; it gets technical from here]

I say trite, because I've noticed a large shift in the pattern of pop lately. In a workplace where the radio is constantly playing popular music, I've been noticing a shift from the VI - VII - i progression (e.g. Tik Tok) to the i - III - VI pattern (e.g. Yeah 3x), focusing not on minor lifts, but mediants ( III ) and submediants ( VI ). The minor tonic ( i ) has been staying; I can only speculate that it gives the song a dark and dirty edge to it, and minor keys are suitable for dubstep breakdowns or breaks (dubstep; another rising trend I see).

Artists have also been raping syncopated rhythms. Most of the songs I hear today are prime examples; Britney's Till the World Ends, the backing of Ke$ha's We R Who We R, and Chris Brown's Yeah 3x. It's something that is easier sung, not read. I can only imagine thousands of people at a Britney sing-along receiving a songbook and seeing:

All this being said, I'm not going to listen to this stuff as a hobby. Don't get me wrong, I'm interested in pop music, but mostly for the direction. Where's it going? Only time can tell.

Or Katy Perry will tell.

[Appendix on pop music; opinion]

Smells

I hope it is completely normal that I associate certain smells with certain events of my life and video games. I don’t know the exact nature of the association, but for me, each smell is connected to some sort of illness.

For example, I associate the smell of spaghetti with Tony Hawk’s Downhill Jam. The story behind this is that I was struck with a bad case of the flu some years back. My only option (besides rain-dancing with bears [school, whatever]) was to stay at home and play video games. It just so happened that I had rented Tony Hawk’s Downhill Jam, and I proceeded to play it. For dinner that night I had spaghetti warmed up from a small container, and it was sitting right next to me as I vicariously jammed downhill. The smell must have been completely trapped in my sinuses, as the smell of spaghetti lingered for days and days before my flu subsided. From that point forward, whenever I eat spaghetti, I think of said game, and whenever I play said game, I smell spaghetti.

Another fine example is Animal Crossing with fruity cough drops. While this may be a bizarre connection, I rationalize that the things we most remember are the traumatic things that have happened to us. I mean, wouldn’t you remember if you were mauled by a bear at five years old? Either that, or you would totally repress it, but odds are you’d be scarred in some sort of way that you’d remember it. Um…..

Anyways, Animal Crossing.

In the Christmas in which I recieved Animal Crossing (2005, I do believe), I had a terrible cold. I mean terrible in something like sealing my nose shut with rubber cement, walking around with onions glued to my cheeks, and being drugged with a quarter of a dosage of anesthesia for a healthy human male. After receiving the game, I promptly stuck the disc in the Gamecube, and started incessantly playing. My mother, being the loving mother she is, recommended cough drops to me, and I, in a sinus-driven daze, took them. Again, my sinuses trapped them, endlessly assaulting my olfactory sense. Think of it as a small puppy that follows you along your merry way down the road. It’s cute and adorable for a while, but after said while, you’d start to get annoyed, and after a long while, there would be nothing you would love to do more than to drop-kick it to The Land of Oz. The same principle applies to fruity cough drops and sinuses: The fruity smell is nice and all, but after a while it’s all you smell, and you go crazy. After my cold cleared up, I now associate that game with the smell of fruity cough drops.

What makes smell connected to memories? Why is it only sicknesses? Maybe I can make my own associations. The next time I get the flu or some other sinus-clogging ailment, I’ll fill the room with Vanilla Tropic air fresheners, and play Rock Band nonstop. I’ll see if I can’t make my own.

Why I Will Never Watch Daytime Television

The first thing I heard when I walked into the room was the television. "Would you rather give up showers..........or sex?"

Turns out it was a daytime show. The View? No. The Rosie O'Donnell Show? No. As the World Turns? No. Ellen? No. Rachael Ray Show? No. All my Children? No.

Oh no, turns out it was the talk show, "The Talk."

Very original, CBS.

My brother was watching Daytime television shows when he left for a friend's house, and he ever-so-graciously left the TV on for my viewing pleasure. However, the only show I would ever watch is Lost, so when Lost ended, so did my reason to watch television. However, today I was feeling a little curious, so I ventured into the room, holding a pillow--obviously a shield against any impending stupidity that emerges from the boob tube.

The pillow and I were immediately floored by said question at the beginning. Pillow, don't worry. I understand you couldn't protect me.

Why six pseudo-famous women would want to talk about pointless and/or controversial subjects (there is often a thin line between the two) while 4.2 million viewers watch (source, Feb 11 '11) is beyond me. Oftentimes the ladies start squabbling, and what I hear thereafter very closely resembles a crowded cave of bats.

Not to mention the controversy:

holy buckets of bats

I think I will stick with The Price is Right, even if we will never ever have another Bob Barker.

You know, perhaps I should rename my blog to "The Blog," and someday it will become as popular as "The Talk." ...Of course, disregarding the demographic (middle-aged women and my brother).