Pops(es s?)

While eating some delicious Pops cereal, I accidentally spilled one of the morsels of the cereal on the floor. I said,

"Oh, I dropped a Pop."

But that isn't right, is it? The cereal name is Pops. So if I dropped one, would I be dropping a Pop or a Pops? Say I dropped two. Would it be Pops or Popses or Popes? Maybe it would be better to say,

"I dropped a Pop. es sssssessss."

Word of the Year: How to Sound like a Prick

I lied. It's two words.

Two words I dislike: "Obviously" and "Actually." If you ever want to sound like a pretentious, sophis-to-tated upperclassman (read: asshole), these words are you best bets. However, there are a few stipulations if you want to reach "P, S U (r: A)" status:

• You must put heavy emphasis on the first syllable of the words, i.e. "Obviously" and "Actually"
• You must use the word when you are proving someone wrong. "Actually, you are wrong" is a good start, but
• you must also prove that you are also superior to the person being proved wrong. "You Obviously grip the banana in your left hand when peeling it. Trust me, I work with these things every day."
• You must, if you wish to be mocked (assuming you are not being mocked already), stumble on your words when proving yourself: "Actually, the banana goes in your right hand. Trust me, I, uh, work with these things more often than you do."
• Awkward.
• You must have an over-scholarly look on your face. As in, your head tilted upward, your chin sticking slightly out, your eyebrows arched, and your eyes a smug squint, as shown:

Note the raised chin and pretentious sneer.

• You must also make it look like you are not exactly trying to impress your peers, but actually, you are. I mean, uh, you're trying to be a prick, aren't you?
• A frock coat/smoking jacket, and a pipe is optional.

So what is exactly meant when you use the two words?

When you say "obviously," you are pointing out something that should be obvious. However, is it truly obvious when the person being corrected did not notice it? Obviously not. It's much better to simply state what's wrong, and that is that, rather than earning verbal detritus from your use of the A-word or the O-word.

Secondly, the use of "actually," in my book, implies that the ideas presented are completely fictitious.

Actually. Actual. Real.

You are proving someone wrong, and you are using the word "real" to defend your argument. OF COURSE YOUR POINT IS REAL.

Otherwise you wouldn't be arguing in the first place.

Obviously.