Seats

Whoever invented non-metal/plastic/polished wood toilet seats is a genius. I’m thinking along the lines of…say, A WARMER MATERIAL THAN THOSE LISTED. Today I sat down on a toilet a home, which is all metal, and I was basically like

“holy shit.”

Pun totally unintended. It was cold. It doesn’t matter how warm or cold the air is—THE SEAT’S ALWAYS COLD. Sometimes I even lay lines of toilet paper on the seat before I park myself to drip oil. But I mean, who wants to do that every time they need to empty their bowels? I’m saying that the first person who sensibly thought, “Hmm, this metal is pretty cold, I’m gonna use some other material that’s warmer, like vinyl,” and actually carried it out, is great. He/she deserves a pat on the back.