Let's Stereotype Some More: How to Look like a Bro

Whoa, you're buff. Like, really buff. We're talking abs harder than your pe...lvis.

You also have amazingly high amounts of testosterone.

You've got spiked hair.

To top it all off, you also have a girlfriend!

Four of them!

And by "girlfriend," I mean "girls you like and hang out with and enjoy their company while, unbeknownst to you, they hate you with every fiber of their being and would like nothing more than to club you with a bloodbat!"

Wow!

It sounds like you have it pretty good there. Why not showcase your personal success to the world?

LET'S DO THIS.

What you will need

• A camera (the higher the quality, the better the world can see your beautiful face)
• A medium-large sized mirror
• A slightly messy room
• Your sweet self

Looks like we're set here.

What you will need to do
If you don't do all this right, you will suffer uncanny amounts of emasculation. More than usual, anyways

1. Work out a little bit before you take the picture. Make those muscles show. Grrrrrr.
2. Apply gratuitous amounts of hair gel. If it leaks down onto your face, DO NOT wipe it off. You must say it is sweat. Manly sweat.
3. DO NOT WEAR A SHIRT. I don't care if it's as tight as Tetris, don't wear a shirt. People just love staring at your bellybutton. I suppose...an open shirt is alright, but it must be plaid.
4. Make sure the camera is in the picture. That's what the mirror is for. This means you must be holding the camera. What, you think you're gonna set it on a flat surface, set the self-timer for ten seconds, and use both your hands for a gang sign? No no no, you're way too cool for that much work. Besides, too much work will spread your manly sweat around, and you'll look like a tryhard. You don't want to look like a tryhard.
5. Your body pose should be something between a.) the ending pose of the dancers in the So You Think You Can Dance opening, and b.) Jabba the Hutt's dead body. This means you have a lot of territory you can cover. Use your imagination! That's how Shigeru Miyamoto became so popular. You can be no different!
6. What about your hand? What should it be doing? Something cool. I'll leave that up to you.
7. Sunglasses are optional, but they MUST cover over 35% of your face.
8. For the love of Cthulhu, do not smile. Cthulhu will not love you if you smile.
9. Take the picture already. Your biceps aren't getting any stronger holding that camera.

So now you're done! Post that to Twitter or Facebook or Photobucket or eHarmony, and watch as the world calls you a bro. brotastrophe

Wasn't that easy? Now you can go back to pumping iron and hanging with your girlfriends. Watch out for bats though, bro. It's a harsh world out there.